Tuesday, March 20, 2007



.......im just waiting for an apology..i guess!?.......

"Throwing whatever things you would see, screaming at the top of your lungs, crying like there will be no tomorrow, kicking hard as if your treading under water, pretending like a moron just to get their, whomever is there, attention, name it! I've done those, and continuously doing it by chances. I can't help it. I'd tried hard to control it except it just resulted to some kind of a bad stipulation so I stopped attempting again. It's not really that bad as a cancerous one however it's like the feeling of fretfulness that a child is having if he can't have that special toy in the store, or the bad sensation of regrets, and uneasiness if you try to prevent crying when you don't feel anything but cry. It's like there is a bomb ticking inside your body and is ready to explode anytime. And the worst is, when I try to control having tantrums, I feel like I will be having a heart attack shortly.


Nevertheless, the reason is not merely material things. Stress and discontentment are the main cause, I presume, since I easily go nuts and worried over something. Concentrating is the hardest thing for me. I cannot give due attention to one object or idea. And if things go out of my plans, I really get annoyed and obstinate. I don't know why or to whom or to what that's why I dont have any other outlet but to cry and scream. Throwing things as well as seeing those things fly and hit the wall, ceiling or other object, and finally striking the floor give me this fantastic pleasure. I picture them as worries, fears, and doubts flying away from me. Saying goodbye to my juvenile mind and feeling at ease again." (excerpts from http://rakelyvia.blogspot.com/2006_07_01_archive.html, TANTRUMS...sign of immaturity?, August 2006)



so i cried because i can't get what i wanted that time. things did go out of my way and it happened when i least expected it to happen.



anyways, im enjoying evry minute of being a masochist now. haha.. i did my part and now, i just need to be patient waiting for something that might happen. my doors are very much open *wink*..



and atleast, striking eyes are not pointing at me now.kay _-_-_-_-_ cla ngayon. hehehe ansama ko. i didnt expect it from her kse eh..



"Sometimes those oh-I'm-very-simple-and-I-don't-flirt-much-in-PUBLIC-because-its-against-my-principle-and-I-don't-want-others-thinking-that-I'm-that-kind-of-girl girls are the most successful flirts. They don't flirt in public but only God knows where. But they succeed. Sometimes I want to interview them and ask if how can they do that, flirting secretly with someone, and get some advices..." (excerpt from http://www.rakelyvia.blogspot.com, Here it goes, April 2006)



im good and fine na. ^___^ im just waiting for apology i guess!?..

*  *Posted by rakelyvia at 6:47 PM
---------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------


Wednesday, March 14, 2007



.......im up again in a stretcher.......

yeah,, i was put in a stretcher twice na in a row.


the first one was last tuesday, march 6 2007. the day before, i was busy editing this film we made for tuesday's history class. that would be 50% of our grade,,, so ayun bida bida at inedit ko. di ako nkasama sa film mismo so i took charge of editing. we started editing by 11pm, because my schedule got jammed and i cant figure out some technical things. so un, nanghiram pa ko ng software for editing,, good thing jaypaul has.


by 5am, i was nearly done. yes, it took me 6 hours just to edit the film kse nga new software ung gamit ko. but when i was about to add something, boom! nag-hang and na-corrupt ung file ko. PUNYETA!!!! so ngising ang diwa ko and repeat the procedure all over again..


by 2:30pm, tapos nko but i can't burn it so bahala na. sa laptop nalang nmen ipapanood. eh hello!? gano ba kalaki laptop ko for the whole class to watch!? haayyyy


3:30 pm history class by 3:10 nakauwi nko sa galle from teo's house where we stayed. naligo, tumakbo and i was in school by 4pm.


and i can feel my world is spinning. can't explain what happened but my knees were so weak and shaking. can't stand up. can't even move myself to stand. ayun, stretcher ang kasagutan.



i was placed in the clinic pero til 7pm lang un. no medications. wala tlga. by 7pm we needed to go, mgsasara na. and still i can't stand. good thing there he was. although nicole asked him to help us, atleast there he was. he accompanied us and assisted me til we got home. thanks friend.=)



the next day, i didnt make it to our meeting. and he was there again, sinamahan ako sa bahay. and thanks again for that friend.


next stretcher thing happened last monady, march 12, 2007, almost one week after the first one. i was pressure to death to finish our case study. then i ran from the computer shop to our room and made it for 2 mins. i almost missed a test. ayun dagdag pa un sa pressure. i needed to answer that test for 5mins. thanks chel.



then suddenly, when i was preparing for our presentation, i cried. ayun alam na nila next na gagawin. they borrowed kagad stretcher and brought me to the clinic. the nurse assumed that its hypoglycemia. then i remebered i havent eaten anything that day. kaya ayun cguro. and then again, he was there. he picked me up and assisted us home and tried to ignore my tantrums. thanks again friend.



so i wanna extend my deep appreciation to nicole and chel and ronj and abby and to my friend. thanks talaga =)


maybe i really stretched my threshold to its extent. i was stressed, physically, mentally, emotionally. im really starting to regret buying all his words. waaahhh..

mimi, nsa-tunnel na nman ako. you gotta drag me out!

Labels:

*  *Posted by rakelyvia at 5:11 PM
---------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------


Friday, March 02, 2007



.......what a day!? (ang malas pucha).......

one more week and its my bday na, and anung ngyayare!? waaaahhh..


first, last nyt i've realized something that i/we can't return.


next, i woke up na super namamaga ung mata and super late na.


we came to school super late na as in we almost missed 12 items of our quiz. kinopya ko tuloy lahat kay che. hahah thanks chel.


then, after that we went to laboratory only to find out na we will have a quiz pala, which is hindi ako ngreview and na-surprise talga ako. so go on,, ayun nagquiz bahala na si lord.


tapos, after the quiz ayun nangarag kme, coz we performed super hirap na mga experiments. plus super sungit ni maam.


next, palpak ung experiment ko. spores lang ung nkikita sa microscope which is dapat fungi. eh wala ng time, so ung na pinasa ko. putek!


after that, nkita ko ung petri dish na may red stain and i told maam about that and the only thing she said was "tanggalin mo yan! di na yan tatanggapin kapag binalik!!" so nagpanic ang gaga. ayun gumawa ako ng mirakulo. bnrush ko ng surf, joy and even ung pride na bar. then pati safeguard punatulan ko na. poota!


so un na thank god, natanggal nman. then after nun 11:10am na di padin kme pinapalabas. next subject nmen is english and di pako gumgawa and ngrereview for physics lab...i looked in the mirror, PUTA!!!! may 4 na pimples na bglang tumubo. as in, in an instant! punyetang fungi yan.


when we're about to leave, i was rushing because i needed to buy facial wash and wash my face as soon as possible, i grabbed my cologne and it slipped. puta basag!


akala ko, tapos na. so ok nabasag sya. nung nasa CR na and we're washing our face, nabasa nman ung bag ko. pwede ng pigain...


english..maayos nman. atleast nakahinga ako.


after english, break pero parang wala pding break because gumawa kme ng physics.


physics, isang malaking PUTANG INA! wala na nman ako nasagot. period. wala tong choices. haaaayyyy...


dismissal. we went to jolibee.. badtrip antagal nung frost. haller. FROST. tapos inabot ng 30mins!?


haaayyyy...at may pahabol. nkalimutan kong may meeting pla kme knina. punyeta.



STRESSED!!!!


and for the nth time, ITS OVER (sana....)

*  *Posted by rakelyvia at 6:26 PM
---------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------


Thursday, March 01, 2007



.......i like this. haha.......

Name 3 schools you went to:

*Roosevelt Cainta
*Our Lady of Perpetual Succor College
*Centro Escolar University


Name 3 things in your purse/bag:

*make-up kit
*cologne
*wallet


Name 3 things you do when you're reallystressed:

*eat.
*smoke.
*tantrums.


Name 3 favorite fruits:

*mango
*apple
*ponkan


Three of your Favorite foods:

*spaghetti.
*cheeseburger mcdo
*chocolate


Three of your favorite songs:

*Tuliro-sp0nge cola
*
*


Three words you say a lot:

*pooteeek!!!
*punyeta.
*joke lang..


Three people you hate the most: (right at this moment)

*c ------
*c racoon
*c eppers



T h e W h o s


Who did you get this survey from?

*bowna!!



What are you thinking about right now?

*micro quiz tomorrow. and if i will buzz him.



Who did you last talk to on the phone?

*zander. last sunday pa.



Who do you wish you were with rightnow?

*mom.
*friends.
*cesar.


Who gets on your nerves the most?

*ung mga di ko ma-gets. jologs.



T h e W h e r e s


Where do you live?

*antipolo city
*galleria suites



Where is your cphone?

*at my pocket.


Where is/are your parent(s)?

*my mom? may be in her office.
*dad? dunno.



Where do you sleep?

*bed?



where did you get the shirt you arewearing?

*CBH



Where is the last place you took a rideto?

*to condo.



Where in your house are you?

*basement. comp shop.



T h e W h a t s


What was the last thing you ate?

*ung punyetang mocha samba sa coffee indulgence. kasuya.



What color shirt are you wearin?

*black


What is the closest item near you thatis blue?

*counter's table.


What is your favorite color?

*pink.


What is your favorite thing?

(are)
*cesar.
*laptop.



What kind of surgery have you had?

*last i had when they removed my appendix. =)



What do you wear more?

*skirt and shirt.


What is the last movie you watched?

*wicker park. di ko ntapos. haha



T h e W h e n s




When did you last go to the mall?

*last tuesday.


When did you last burn a candle?

*last sem. sa st jude. coz feeling ko bbagsak nako.hahah



When did you last see your dad?

*last monday.



When was the last time you fell inlove?

*huwaaaattt???

*  *Posted by rakelyvia at 3:47 PM
---------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------